In the last couple of months, I’ve met a lot of new people…all over the internet. Many of which have already become friends.
While this would have been weird or even creepy a few years back, it’s the new normal in 2020.
Still, I find it harder to connect with someone on a personal level if you only ever meet on Zoom. There’s so much to know about each other.
So, how can we form a connection quicker? That’s where a personal user manual comes into play.
I heard about it for the first time from Brandon Zhang. You can check out his personal user manual here.
The personal user manual is a document that shows who you are. It gives people a first understanding of what you’re about and how you operate.
You can keep it on your website and send it to potential collaborators, clients, acquaintances, and employers. If someone resonates with it, they’ll want to get to know you even better. It’s a perfect conversation starter.
I’ll kick off my personal user manual with my mission and values and then launch into the questions from this template.
My mission and values
My mission is to help you reach the people you need to reach. And to convert the clients you’ve been dreaming of. So you can leave your mark in this world.
Ultimately, I want to be the go-to person for creating, selling, and growing next-level online learning experiences. I love to learn and develop myself and have taken plenty of online courses over the last years. The ones that made the biggest impact were focused on building a community and personal growth. The world needs more of these types of courses, and I want to help create them.
Values I live by
- Invest in relationships: The people I care about are my top priority.
- Solve problems: I believe everything is figureoutable. There’s always a way forward, and I’ll find it.
- Share what I know without expecting anything in return. I always want to be helpful and add value.
- Learn something new every day: Everyone has a story to tell, something to teach. That’s what I want to discover. I don’t want to make assumptions, so I ask a lot of questions.
- Stay true: This is a big one for me. I can’t stand when people put up facades and pretend just to create a certain impression. I know “authenticity” is so overused as a word, but I can’t find a better one to describe what I mean.
Questions about me
What are some honest, unfiltered things about you?
- While I don’t mind working by myself, I’m happiest in a team of people where we can joke around, tackle tough problems, and grow together.
- Not having to go anywhere in particular when getting up in the morning feels amazing. I don’t miss the commute to an office one bit.
- I tend to take on a lot of projects, which keeps me busy all day (and often on the weekends). However, this results in family and friends complaining about my lack of availability.
- I’m German and grew up in a village of 250 people about two hours southwest of Berlin.
- I love to travel, try foreign food, explore other cultures. I’ve been to 45 countries so far and plan to add many more to the list.
- Although I’m now spending time in North America, Europe will always be my home. Being able to enter a different country without restrictions within 1-2 hours and experience a completely different culture is magic.
- I workout every day. No matter how busy I am.
What drives you nuts?
- When someone tries to micro-manage me. One particular work relationship with this dynamic scarred me for life. I love figuring out the best way forward and am perfectly capable of asking questions if there are still gaps.
- When people put all the blame for not getting what they want on external circumstances. I do see the inequalities that exist and make it easier for some people to succeed than others, don’t get me wrong. Still, I believe that everyone can take control of their life and work towards forging their own destiny.
- When people float through life without any purpose or ambition. When their only interest is in the Netflix series, they watch. While I certainly don’t know the reason we’ve been put on this rock hurtling through space, we can work towards something while we’re here. Life’s more fun this way.
- Plastic bags. I always carry a reusable one. It’s not that hard.
What are your quirks?
- I’m a snob when it comes to chocolate and pizza. As a European, I prefer the “original” versions of each any day. And yes, there’s something like “too much cheese” on pizza, as I discovered when visiting the glorious country just south of Canada.
- I have no idea about wine. When forced to buy one, I pick the bottle with the prettiest label.
- I need absolute peace and quiet to fall asleep (might be a residue of growing up in the countryside where it’s dead-silent at night – except when there are foxes around, making weird ass noises that sound like a cat dying). I’m not the best sleeper in general, so if you have any tips and resources for better sleep, please send them my way.
- I’m on a mission to find the perfect water bottle. If you have a favorite one, you gotta let me know!
How can people earn an extra gold star with you?
- I really appreciate it when people respond to messages or emails quickly. One friend of mine does that extremely well, and I absolutely love her for it.
- Send stuff (articles, tools, ideas, whatever) my way that might interest me or that we could explore together. I’m obsessed with learning new things. Also, memes. Send me memes.
- Make the first move. I love to have a good chat, get to know you better, and find out how I can help you out. But to be honest, I’m often too shy to take the first step and ask.
What qualities do you particularly value in people who work with you?
- Doing what you said you’d do. As a former Project Manager, I had to rely on people taking action on the agreed steps. That’s the only way to make progress consistently.
- Honesty. That applies to everyone in my life.
- No drama. The focus should be on working towards a common goal, not progressing some hidden agendas or satisfying egos.
- Independence and a willingness to figure things out on your own. I like to coach, mentor, and teach, but at some point, people have to take things into their own hands.
What are some things that people might misunderstand about you that you should clarify?
- I’m pragmatic but care about the details. While I believe “done is better than perfect,” I don’t shy away from refining deliverables.
- I’m social but also introverted. While I love spending time with people, I also need my space and some regular alone time. This helps me recharge my batteries so I can be fully present in the next conversation.
- I’m quiet by default but still have lots to share. When I was little and my parents had a party, I’d just sit quietly among the adults and listen to their conversation for hours. I can still listen to someone talk without having the urge to interject with my own stories. However, this can forge the impression that I don’t want to give any information about myself. I do. I just forget about it. The workaround: Ask me questions.
How I interact with others
How do you coach people to do their best work and develop their talents?
- Embrace the fact that it’s not going to be easy and that there will be ups and downs. You can’t get discouraged by the first setbacks but have to keep at it.
- Focus on habits over goals. James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” convinced me to prioritize establishing daily habits that’ll take me in the right direction. It doesn’t matter how ambitious the goals are you’re setting if you don’t have the right habits to take you there.
- With specific examples. Speaking in abstract terms doesn’t help anybody. To really internalize something, it has to be made concrete.
What’s the best way to convince you to do something?
- Show me the bigger picture. What impact is this going to have? How are we going to help people with this?
- Show me what’s in it for me and how it will get me closer to my goals. As a copywriter, I’m always spelling out what’s in it for the audience to get them to take action. The same logic works on me, too.
- Show me that this aligns with my values. Maybe it’s a thing of getting older, but I’m increasingly saying no to stuff that doesn’t fully align with what I believe in.
How do you like to give feedback?
- I hate giving feedback. The problem with feedback is that it’s focused on the past, the negative. You can’t change what happened and having pointed out where you fell short sucks.
- Instead, I like to give feedfoward. It’s a technique invented by executive coach Marshall Goldsmith. I’ll provide suggestions and ideas of what you can try out or do differently in the future.
How do you like to get feedback?
- Ideally, let’s go over it in a call. It’s just too easy to misread and misinterpret written messages. That also gives me the chance to ask clarifying questions.
- Give me some concrete suggestions on what I can do better next time. Maybe paired with how this has worked for you or someone else you know.
What’s the best way to communicate with you?
- For a start, send me a DM on Twitter or an email at julia@juliasaxena.com (I still love getting those). Tell me what you want to talk about.
- Then, lets jump on Zoom and have a chat.
